Dr. Elizma van der Smit
Clinical Psychologist – Anger Analysis Guide
Step 1 of 6
Discover the Root Cause of Your Anger
Anger is a very important and needed emotion. Feeling anger is like a light flickering on the dashboard of your car. It is an indication that something is wrong, and you need to fix it!
Don’t ignore this light, for it would cause you more problems in the long run. Take time to learn about the car (yourself) and what it needs to run smoothly on the road of life!
This comprehensive assessment will help you:
- Identify patterns in your anger responses
- Understand the deeper emotions behind your anger
- Recognize your core beliefs and expectations
- Discover your unmet emotional needs
- Develop strategies for healthier responses
Important: This tool is for self-reflection and educational purposes. If you’re experiencing intense anger or emotional distress, please consider consulting with a mental health professional.
Step 1: Describe Your Anger Situation
50
Step 2: Time Patterns & Physical State
Morning
Noon
Evening
Tired and irritated
Stressed and overwhelmed
Sad
Hungry
Physically not feeling well or in pain
Uncomfortable feeling in stomach
Tightness in chest
Increased and rapid heartbeat
Legs go weak
Tense muscles
Feeling hot or flushed skin
Sweating
Headache or tension in eyes
Shaking or trembling
Dizziness
Grinding your teeth
Rapid breathing
Step 3: Underlying Emotions
1. Feeling betrayed/disappointment in the other person
2. Feeling disappointment in myself, not good enough
3. Feeling not cared for, not loved, lonely
4. Feeling not respected and treated unfairly
5. Feeling overwhelmed, not in control, stressed and worried
6. Feeling jealous of other people
7. Jealousy of others engaging with partner
8. Feeling guilty
9. Feeling shame and embarrassment
10. Feeling sadness, grief or resentment
11. Feeling of being rejected
12. Feeling frustrated
Step 4: Core Beliefs & Thoughts
1. Feeling betrayed/disappointment in the other person
Thought: “They should have known better or done better.” “I trusted them, and they let me down.”
Core Belief: “People should be reliable and trustworthy.” “People should be loyal and honest.”
Core Belief: “People should be reliable and trustworthy.” “People should be loyal and honest.”
2. Feeling disappointment in myself, not good enough
Thought: “I should have done better or achieved more.” “I am not meeting the expectations placed upon me.”
Core Belief: “I must be successful to be worthy.” “My worth is determined by my achievements and approval from others.”
Core Belief: “I must be successful to be worthy.” “My worth is determined by my achievements and approval from others.”
3. Feeling not cared for, not loved, lonely
Thought: “I am not important to others.” “I am isolated and disconnected from others.”
Core Belief: “I need others’ affection to feel valued.” “I need close relationships to be fulfilled and happy.”
Core Belief: “I need others’ affection to feel valued.” “I need close relationships to be fulfilled and happy.”
4. Feeling not respected and treated unfairly
Thought: “They don’t value my opinions or contributions.” “This situation is not just or right.”
Core Belief: “I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.” “Everyone deserves to be treated fairly and with respect.”
Core Belief: “I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.” “Everyone deserves to be treated fairly and with respect.”
5. Feeling overwhelmed, not in control, stressed and worried
Thought: “I can’t manage everything that’s being asked of me.” “I have no control over my situation.” “Something bad might happen, and I’m not prepared for it.”
Core Belief: “I must meet all expectations and responsibilities to be valued.” “I must be able to influence my life and circumstances.” “I must always be in control and prepared to handle any situation.”
Core Belief: “I must meet all expectations and responsibilities to be valued.” “I must be able to influence my life and circumstances.” “I must always be in control and prepared to handle any situation.”
6. Feeling jealous of other people
Thought: “I want what they have and feel inadequate.”
Core Belief: “My worth is determined by comparison to others.”
Core Belief: “My worth is determined by comparison to others.”
7. Jealousy of others engaging with partner
Thought: “I fear losing their affection or attention to someone else.”
Core Belief: “I need to be the most important person in my partner’s life.”
Core Belief: “I need to be the most important person in my partner’s life.”
8. Feeling guilty
Thought: “I did something wrong or failed to meet my responsibilities.”
Core Belief: “I must always act in accordance with my values and obligations.”
Core Belief: “I must always act in accordance with my values and obligations.”
9. Feeling shame and embarrassment
Thought: “I have done something wrong or am flawed in some way.”
Core Belief: “I must meet certain standards to be acceptable.”
Core Belief: “I must meet certain standards to be acceptable.”
10. Feeling sadness, grief or resentment
Thought: “I have lost something or someone important to me.” “I have been wronged and my pain has not been acknowledged.”
Core Belief: “I deserve to be treated fairly and with respect.”
Core Belief: “I deserve to be treated fairly and with respect.”
11. Feeling of being rejected
Thought: “I am not good enough or worthy of acceptance.”
Core Belief: “My value depends on how others perceive and accept me.”
Core Belief: “My value depends on how others perceive and accept me.”
12. Feeling frustrated
Thought: “I am facing obstacles that prevent me from achieving my goals.”
Core Belief: “I should be able to control my circumstances and get what I want.”
Core Belief: “I should be able to control my circumstances and get what I want.”
Step 5: Expectations Analysis
Step 6: Unmet Emotional Needs
Need for Love and Care and Warmth
Need for Autonomy or control over one’s own life
Need for feeling safe and being protected
Need for Connection and Belonging
Need for Acceptance as you are
Need for understanding, encouragement and support
Need for Balance and Self-Care
Need for Justice and fairness
Need for Reassurance and validation
Need for Trust, security and Reliability
Need for Recognition and Validation
Need for Self-Acceptance and self-worth
Your Comprehensive Anger Analysis
Congratulations! You’ve completed your anger analysis. Here’s your personalized summary and insights:
📝 Your Anger Situation
Situation:
Intensity Level: /100
⏰ Patterns & Physical Response
Time of Day:
Physical State:
Physical Symptoms:
💭 Emotional & Psychological Insights
Underlying Emotions:
Core Beliefs Identified:
Expectations Patterns:
Unmet Emotional Needs:
🎯 Personalized Recommendations
📞 Next Steps
Based on your analysis:
- Self-Awareness: Review your patterns regularly to build emotional intelligence
- Professional Support: Consider consulting Dr. Elizma van der Smit or another qualified professional for deeper work
- Practice: Implement the recommended strategies consistently
- Patience: Remember that emotional growth takes time and self-compassion